We leave the church building inspired and filled with Truth and encouragement each Sunday … and somewhere along the course of the week, often we find ourselves in need of a little bit of something to help us through.
Welcome to Extra Strength: a mid-week pick-you-up for the soul. Be sure to scroll all the way to the bottom for extra encouragement and challenge.
Extra Strength for Selfie: Wanted
About a year ago, I became overwhelmed with emotion as my past began to hit me. All the sin, all the guilt, all the shame was overwhelming me. I tried praying it away but that didn’t help. I felt weaker and weaker. I began reflecting on the people who didn’t want me and who had tossed me aside. Then I wondered who would want me. Yes I am married but that doesn’t mean I get the “wanted” stamp of approval. Trying to fight back the tears I went to my husband and asked him, “Why did you want me when no one else did?”
I wanted to ask my husband this because prior to being married, I had been rejected by so many guys and I was not the one that was chosen. I poured out all of me but I remained empty. I looked for love in all of the wrong places and could not find it anywhere. Yet while I was pursuing all the wrong things and people, I was in fact being pursued.
God had his eye on me long before I knew Him. He was in pursuit of me and would not let me go. He looked for me even in my darkest places. At times when He found me I would pull away. because I didn’t feel worthy. But he wanted me. No matter what I did, He wanted me and He never stopped until He had me.
The challenge then came that I needed to live the life of a wanted woman. That means no more running away from Him but running to Him. No more trying to hide my sins but exposing them so that He can wash me in forgiveness and restoring me to wholeness. He needed to show me that I was enough and that I didn’t need to do anything hoping that someone would want me I could simply just be me.
When I asked my husband that day why did he want me when no one else did, I didn’t know what answer to expect. Afterall there had to have been something missing that made them not want me. My husband answered me with the answer I needed. He said that not being wanted by others did not mean that something was wrong with me, it meant that something was wrong with them.
Pastor Josh’s message confirmed that truth, and it made me realize how far I had come. I went from feeling unwanted to knowing that I am wanted by God. I was able to see how God is constantly making me whole in Him. I no longer feel like I need someone else to be complete because I have Christ; I never thought I’d be in this place because honestly I had desired my relationship with my husband more for so long. But each day God is moving my heart toward desiring Him more.
I can feel His tugs and His gentle nudges drawing me near, wanting me to spend time with Him. It is His consistent pursiung of me, His wanting me, that makes me want Him more. And that “wanted” stamp of approval is evident in the fact the He chose to die on the cross for ME, because He . . . wanted . . . ME. It’s great to finally know I am wanted.
Sheryll Belonga is wife to Jurrell and homeschooling mom to their three great boys. Her hearts desire is to glorify God in all she says and does in spite of life’s daily happenings.
- The next time your past seeks to overwhelm you with thoughts of who you were remember that is not who you are. It never was. Look at people not for what is obvious but for what may be hidden. Appreciate the beauty that lies with in and don’t add any new stains.