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By Makenna Nahorniak
She was worn like a pair of old blue jeans. She saw the bravery that she had created for herself wither away as weakness flooded her once invincible heart.
Those last two sentences seem to be an accurate description of myself in the last few weeks. Worn and dry. I believe that I might not be alone in that. You see, I feel as though I’ve snapped as a result of carrying all of my burdens and putting forth effort to muster up enough strength to keep moving forward, to keep on smiling every morning even when it’s Monday.
At first, I was frustrated. I just didn’t know why I was feeling so drained; so insanely pressured by life. Then the Lord caught my attention in the midst of it all, and He called me to ask myself a very hard question.
“How much am I relying on God to take care of me in the big and the small? How inadequate is my own strength?
I understood quite immediately that my human efforts fail, and my weariness was a result of my own independence. My blindness to my great need for the Lord had kept me from looking like Him.
Pride gets ugly, folks. It gets really bad. Just when you think you can juggle it all, you find yourself tripping and falling because every ounce of courage and bravery that you have produced on your own is insufficient. You may look at yourself and see the consequences of lacking dependence. All of a sudden, your patience is gone, your love for others has diminished, and the celebratory way in which you once went about living is hidden. The results of self-dependence can be devastating, but they can surely be reversed.
We must step back and be still until He is our one desire once again. We must stop relying on our ever-inadequate strength, and allow ourselves to fall back on God’s faithfulness- forever recognizing that His truth is enough, and that our tomorrows are taken care of along with our todays.
If that seems quite impossible to you at the moment; if you’re struggling to release the clenched fist that the “know-it-all” in each of us has created, there is one more truth that can be held to constantly. He is who He is. Let that be enough for your letting go.
When Moses was unsure about God’s plan, and the Lord’s words didn’t seem to be quite enough, he began to ask questions.
“Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt? He said, ‘But I will be with you, and this shall be the sign for you, that I have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.” (Exodus 3:11-12)
The plan seemed too crazy. The path seemed uncharted, and the future seemed unsure. It’s easy to see that Moses was hesitant, as we so often are in life. His questions continued.
Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘what is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses, “I am who I am.” (Exodus 3:13-14)
I must confess that I did a double take when I read those sweet words. He is the kind of God who just simply says, “I am who I am.” There is so much authority in those five words. That sentence is like a breath of fresh air, a call to be still, and a humbling command to do as He says and be content. He just is who He is, and that will always be more than enough.
So often, the troubled soul turns to itself to heal wounds, when the need is for someone much mightier than any human being. That’s when it’s time to turn around and run hard towards the “Great I Am,” and be renewed by His strength.
It’s dumbfounding that we can say that our God simply is who He is, and that’s all that needs to be said. It’s as if His power, love, and grace is inexplainable and unprecedented. There is no way to explain who He is in a way simple enough for the human brain to comprehend, while simultaneously capturing all that He is in comparison to all that we are not. That is a beautiful thing. For that reason, we need only be still and receive His love. He is who He is. That, my friends is the kind of God who is enough. He is enough for every need. He is enough for every weary soul. There is no need to be worn any longer.
“Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” (Psalm 62:8)
Makenna Nahorniak is a junior at Christian Life School. She enjoys leading worship, singing, reading, writing and using her words to encourage others’ hearts.