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by Gracie Adamek
As a senior in high school, I’ve seen a whole lot of insecurities in my days. Not just in myself, but in everyone around me.
Some people hide their insecurities well and some people, not so much. For some, they are so insecure about themselves that it’s crippling. They just can’t get past the thing that they so desperately don’t want anyone to notice, whatever that may be, that it consumes their minds and that’s all they think people see when they look at them.
For others, and this was me for a very long time, they think that they can hide all flaws and all feelings of self doubt by having a big, loud personality that masks who they really are. The problem with both of these ways of living is that this gets very tiring. When we are always so concerned with what others think that we go to extremes to hide it, we become angry and sad and exhausted.
When I was in the 6th grade, I was daily ridiculed for basically just existing. To a certain group of people, I was annoying. I was stupid. I was fat. Even things like my hair being big was mocked! It seemed like there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say that would get them to stop.
So I changed. I went into middle school with the though that I didn’t want that to happen anymore. I was going to start over. I got loud and put on an “I don’t care” mask. But I DID care. I cared a lot about what people thought, actually! But I became someone I didn’t like to please others.
I secretly began to hate who I was becoming more and more every day. My personality at home was so different from my personality at school. I was living this awful double life, and I was exhausted.
The thing we all need to realize sooner or later, for me it was freshman year, is that God loves you for the person that each of us really are way deep down. He loves the flaws that we hide. He sees them and still craves a relationship with us!
One of my favorite poems by Emily Joy says this, “So tell me WHY, before I was even thought of or desired, You saw every day of every moment of my life. And as my sins passed before your eyes, You sighed and said ‘Yes! I will USE THIS!'”
“So tell me WHY, before I was even thought of or desired, You saw every day of every moment of my life. And as my sins passed before your eyes, You sighed and said ‘Yes! I will USE THIS!'”
God sees it all. He won’t leave. He won’t make fun. He wraps his arms around us and and says “you’re mine. There’s nothing you can do to change that.” At iMPACT, Josh’s “phrase of the night” was “you aren’t insecure — your foundations are.”
So we need to build ourselves on the firmest foundation possible: God.
Gracie Adamek is a senior at Lakes Community High School. She enjoys singing, acting and spending time with friends! Gracie is so grateful for this opportunity and hopes to glorify God 100% through this!