You know that Sunday feeling, right?

We leave church inspired and filled with Truth and encouragement on Sundays … and somewhere along the course of the week, pieces of the message tend to fade and we often lose that Sunday feeling.

The Monday After {the Sunday Sermon} carries the Sunday message into Monday mornings by sharing how what we’ve heard on Sunday morning is making a difference in our Mondays, our weeks, our lives. Because of your generosity to Accelerate, we are able to share these stories! Thank you!

The Monday After Sunday, September 1, 2013: Going Deeper with God 

By Dawn Kelley

Have you ever come into Sunday morning service angry? That was me this Sunday. I came in angry — not so willing to worship God.

Truth be told, if I had not made a commitment to The Monday After blog and not have received my reminder email I may have come up with a reason to stay home and sleep the morning away, unwilling to let God into the folds of my ugly heart.

Sunday morning I woke up, dressed and made sure the kids were dressed and fed. I even made it a point to make sure they all had their Bibles, even the 3 year old. I did this all while trying to build a wall around my emotions, my frustrations, my anger and my unwillingness to allow God to help. I had it all under control.

The first song started and I couldn’t sing. My wall was thick and high. The second song began and my anger grew … I was so angry I could not sing praises to the God who has saved me from darkness, the God who I normally thrive on singing praises too.

The message started and my wall came crumbling down.  I walked into service not willing to go deeper with God. I didn’t want to face the fact that the silence I live on was non existent. I need to get away and sit quietly before God daily in order to be the calm, laid back and patient person most people know me to be. Following the example that Jesus set before me, lifting my heart to God in prayer and worship … this was not something I wanted to do. I wanted to sit in my anger; how that is comfortable I do not know, but it’s where I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be at the mercy of the One who knows me best.

However, this is exactly where God met me Sunday morning. In the middle of my mess, He began to remind me of what was lacking in my walk. I recently began going through a book by Ruth Haley Barton called Scared Rhythms, mainly because I felt the tension and gap between God and me, and I wanted to go deeper.

The first section of Barton’s book is on silence. Over the past month and a half I have had headphones on with the volume cranked up on high. I had shut my heart down. After the message my heart now has a sign that says “under construction.”

Sunday’s message was a reminder that God, the Creator of the universe, is equipped to handle the ugliness of my heart,  the under-the-surface stuff that goes on in my mind. He is big enough to handle the anger that keeps me from worshiping Him and sitting quietly with Him. I love how Jesus was able to, before he hung on the cross, ask God if there is any other way! I love how David has some of his deepest prayers written in this love letter God has given us. It is a reminder that I matter to God. It is a reminder that even before I woke up God knew my mood. He knew I would work so extra hard to put on the perfect Sunday face, yet he allowed me to go there so I could come to Him just as I am — angry, frustrated, afraid and just plain broken.

Dawn Kelley is the wife of Andrew and the homeschooling mother of four, Jaden, Niya, Makayla and Aiden. She loves to read and write in her spare time, and she currently uses a personal blog to share her adventures in motherhood and womanhood.

4 thoughts on “The Monday After: Going Deeper with God {Dawn}

  1. Dawn, thank you for encouraging me to go deeper … even when I’m angry or frustrated. Those times are the hardest for me to delve into prayer and meditation and scripture.

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